I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.

The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining.

I don't smoke pot or cigarettes, so inhaling smoke as a non-smoker - it doesn't matter what it is, it's going to make you lightheaded.

I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.

I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner.

I like to stuff myself at Thanksgiving, not turkeys.

I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate.