The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done

Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it doesn't cost anything.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.