Kin Hubbard Quotes

Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

Experience is a dear teacher but he delivers th' goods.

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband.

It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.

A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.

Very often the quiet fellow has said all he knows

There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.

Gossip is vice enjoyed vicariously - the sweet, subtle satisfaction without the risk.

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

The reason the way of the transgressor is hard is because it's so crowded.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

A friend that ain't in need is a friend indeed.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.

The man who says "I may be wrong, but--" does not believe there can be any such possibility.

Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.

If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.

I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.

We can tell that a good name is better than riches by those who prefer the riches.

Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

If there's anything mean in a feller, a litter authority will bring it out.

A loafer always has the correct time.

Many a family tree needs trimming

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.

It's the good loser who finally loses out.

The fellow that calls you 'brother' usually wants something that doesn't belong to him.

The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.

Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.

It don't make no difference what is is, a woman'll buy anything she thinks a store is losin' money on.

Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.

None but the brave can live with the fair.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.

Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.