All I kin git out o' the Wickersham position on prohibition is that the distinguished jurist seems to feel that if we'd let 'em have it the problem o' keepin' 'em from gitten;' it would be greatly simplified

When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.