Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

It don't make no difference what is is, a woman'll buy anything she thinks a store is losin' money on.

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done

The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.