Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Experience is a dear teacher but he delivers th' goods.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.

Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.