When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.

It don't make no difference what is is, a woman'll buy anything she thinks a store is losin' money on.

I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.

The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.