I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.
Gossip is vice enjoyed vicariously - the sweet, subtle satisfaction without the risk.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
Who remembers when we used to rest on Sunday instead of Monday?
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.