Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.

When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy.

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.

Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.