Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
The fellow that calls you 'brother' usually wants something that doesn't belong to him.
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.