I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.

As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.

Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.

Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.