I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

Don't a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.

After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!