About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.

A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.

The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.

It's the good loser who finally loses out.

We can tell that a good name is better than riches by those who prefer the riches.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.