Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.
Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband.
Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "
When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.