Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler.

As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.

Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.

I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.