A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

If there's any literary ability in a feller, getting fired out of a good government job will bring it out.

Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

If there's anything mean in a feller, a litter authority will bring it out.

There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.