Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty.

If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.

A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

We like little children, because they tear out as soon as they get what they want.