Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.

All I kin git out o' the Wickersham position on prohibition is that the distinguished jurist seems to feel that if we'd let 'em have it the problem o' keepin' 'em from gitten;' it would be greatly simplified

Another bad thing about "prosperity" is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion

Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.

Plain spoken people get most of the recognition because folks are afraid of them.

Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.