God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.

That's the government. Having been a politician and a musician, I can tell you which one is a higher calling. If musicians ran the country, it would be a much different place. We wouldn't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'd work late.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.

And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.