I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation.

Always respect your superiors, if you have any.

I want to see a Jew in the White house.

Man's ability to delude himself is infinite.

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.