Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas.

The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important.... This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.

If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right.

The Ten Commandments being taken out of the public schools. I want them back.

There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979