If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.

I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won't let them get married. So that's not common sense.

Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.

Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart. And both of them were independents, by the way.

My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.

An editor's job is to take something great and make it good.