I want to see a Jew in the White house.

If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.

People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

My definition of an artist is anyone who's ahead of his time and behind on his rent.

Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.