If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.
If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.
Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.
I'll sign anything except bad legislation.
If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.