I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.

All my adult life I've been in the practice of giving advice to people who are happier than I am.

The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979

I'm ready for anything. That's probably why it never happens.

Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.