And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person.

If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.

I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.

I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.

I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.