If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.