If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?