If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.