If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.