If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.