If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.