If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.