1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.