1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.