1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.