Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies and that way I could appeal to the people in the audience who have babies and to the people who like to pretend that they have babies.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.