Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm asked very, very politely, and that's not putting out, that's just giving in.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.