Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.