I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies and that way I could appeal to the people in the audience who have babies and to the people who like to pretend that they have babies.

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.