I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies and that way I could appeal to the people in the audience who have babies and to the people who like to pretend that they have babies.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies and that way I could appeal to the people in the audience who have babies and to the people who like to pretend that they have babies.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.