Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.