No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.