No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.