No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.