No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.