Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.