Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm asked very, very politely, and that's not putting out, that's just giving in.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.