Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.

I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.