Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.