Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.