As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.