As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.