Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.