Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.