Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.