Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.