I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.