I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.