I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.