I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.