Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.
Kristen SchaalOh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?
Kristen SchaalAt first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.
Kristen SchaalIf I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.
Kristen Schaal