Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.
Kristen SchaalI used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.
Kristen SchaalOh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?
Kristen SchaalIf I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.
Kristen Schaal