I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.