I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.