I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.