If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.