If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.