If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.