If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm asked very, very politely, and that's not putting out, that's just giving in.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.