Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.