Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.