Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm asked very, very politely, and that's not putting out, that's just giving in.

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.