Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows.

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.