Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.