Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!