Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm asked very, very politely, and that's not putting out, that's just giving in.

I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.