Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'