Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?