Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies and that way I could appeal to the people in the audience who have babies and to the people who like to pretend that they have babies.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!