I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.