I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.