I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater.

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life.

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?