My goal was to have one husband and seven children, but it turned out to be the other way around.

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.

All men are alike. The approach is different; the result is always the same.

The thing about happiness is that it doesn't help you to grow; only unhappiness does that. So I'm grateful that my bed of roses was made up equally of blossoms and thorns. I've had a privileged, creative, exciting life, and I think that the parts that were less joyous were preparing me, testing me, strengthening me.

If you stay away from parties, you're called a snob. If you go, you're an exhibitionist. If you don't talk, you're dumb. If you do talk, you're quarrelsome. Pardon me while I change my nail polish.

Where wolves live, the forest is healthy

I find men terribly exciting, and any girl who says she doesn't is an anemic old maid, a streetwalker, or a saint.