I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.

Do not degrade me in the military uniform I wear for it represents the love I have for my country, and the sacrifices myself and millions of other American soldiers make everyday to protect the freedom we enjoy by living in the United States of America.

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.