Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.

I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.

A place to go - that's what my mother always instilled in me. You need a place to go. And you're worthless unless you have a place to go.

Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied

I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.