Sometimes you have to rely on sex and bodily functions.

Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.

I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.

I don't like talking to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.