Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.
I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.
I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.