Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.
I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature.
A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone