Hitler really ruined that mustache for everybody. It’s really an interesting mustache, but now, no one can wear it.

I've always loathed rich people, so I've become who I've loathed, which makes it doubly difficult, if you can follow me.

I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.

Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.

Weathermen merely forecast rain to keep everyone else off the golf course