I'd like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.

I have no sense of well-being. There's no chance the well will run dry.

You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.